This post isn't to dwell on my past feelings or relationship, but to focus on my growth in my relationships with others.
I was looking through my Facebook messages to clean up my inbox when I came across my message feed with Liam's father. I scrolled through a big chunk of what was sent back and forth and one word came to mind- dysfunctional. Thinking back on that relationship I can't recall many good times, only emotionally draining situations and arguments. We never had goals in our relationship or helped each other reach the goals we had set for ourselves, it was a very selfish relationship. We both played in a roll of making the relationship unhealthy but we never thought to end it, or if we did, we'd get back together. I remember getting belittle while in an argument and never having conversations like adults; I felt less than important after we had an argument because of how I was talked down to. No progression was made in ourselves or our relationship, we stayed at the same level physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I just remember feeling trapped but at the same time not wanting to leave. We both partook in "worldly pleasures", which was a big part to our relationship and that was just fuel to the fire. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship but I didn't think of it in that way until I was completely out of it and in a new one. It was something that took me a year to get completely over, which was the hardest thing to do while grieving over the loss of our son. I did it after a lot of praying, tears, stress, and self empowerment.
Going into a well balanced relationship after being in a dysfunctional one is so refreshing and so new. Being able to voice your concerns and having your significant other actually listen and try to better himself for your benefit as well as his, is simply wonderful. Having someone that is there lending a hand when times get rough, is so peaceful. Having someone there to help push yourself to become a better person, is so rewarding. Taking a step back and viewing my relationship with Ariel just makes me cherish it even more. I can finally argue (of course there is a lot less arguing too) with someone who will talk to me like an equal and like an adult. We are both moving forward in our education and have our future in mind. Ariel is such a hard worker and so determined in what he sets his mind to, something I admire greatly. We both have the same beliefs and goals in life which helps us set our path, together. We both value our relationship with our Heavenly Father so we're there to help each other strengthen our testimonies. We have each other in mind when doing something and consult with each other about everything we do. Now, our relationship is not perfect and there are blocks in the road but hand in hand we get through them, together.
