My lovely family

How lucky I am to have my family by my side and now be apart of the Alfaro family! Love them all. 

The Reception

It was such a great night surround by great people. 

The start of November 2nd

The start of November 2nd felt like any other day... besides the fact it was my wedding day! It didn't hit me that I was getting married until I was in the braidal room waiting for my father to come get me. As I was walking down the stairs with my dad, I started to get teary eyed and just was filled with so much love. As the song (Baleen Morning - Balmorhea) I wanted to play while I walked down the aisle started so did the tears. If anything was amiss or things didn't turn out like I wanted them to, it didn't matter because at that moment it was just Ariel and I. I was a laughing/crying/smiley mess but I am in love so it didn't matter. Our kiss was a little awkward, to be honest, but it was still a great kiss. ;) 

Relationships

This post isn't to dwell on my past feelings or relationship, but to focus on my growth in my relationships with others. 

I was looking through my Facebook messages to clean up my inbox when I came across my message feed with Liam's father. I scrolled through a big chunk of what was sent back and forth and one word came to mind- dysfunctional. Thinking back on that relationship I can't recall many good times, only emotionally draining situations and arguments. We never had goals in our relationship or helped each other reach the goals we had set for ourselves, it was a very selfish relationship. We both played in a roll of making the relationship unhealthy but we never thought to end it, or if we did, we'd get back together. I remember getting belittle while in an argument and never having conversations like adults; I felt less than important after we had an argument because of how I was talked down to. No progression was made in ourselves or our relationship, we stayed at the same level physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I just remember feeling trapped but at the same time not wanting to leave. We both partook in "worldly pleasures", which was a big part to our relationship and that was just fuel to the fire. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship but I didn't think of it in that way until I was completely out of it and in a new one. It was something that took me a year to get completely over, which was the hardest thing to do while grieving over the loss of our son. I did it after a lot of praying, tears, stress, and self empowerment.

 Going into a well balanced relationship after being in a dysfunctional one is so refreshing and so new. Being able to voice your concerns and having your significant other actually listen and try to better himself for your benefit as well as his, is simply wonderful. Having someone that is there lending a hand when times get rough, is so peaceful. Having someone there to help push yourself to become a better person, is so rewarding. Taking a step back and viewing my relationship with Ariel just makes me cherish it even more. I can finally argue (of course there is a lot less arguing too) with someone who will talk to me like an equal and like an adult. We are both moving forward in our education and have our future in mind. Ariel is such a hard worker and so determined in what he sets his mind to, something I admire greatly. We both have the same beliefs and goals in life which helps us set our path, together. We both value our relationship with our Heavenly Father so we're there to help each other strengthen our testimonies. We have each other in mind when doing something and consult with each other about everything we do. Now, our relationship is not perfect and there are blocks in the road but hand in hand we get through them, together. 

values > pleasures

Here and there I struggle with some of the "worldly" things I use to do and regrettably I can sometimes miss them. I would be lying if I said I casually brushed some of these feelings off, because I don't. I try to build a strong hold against them... but my hold collapses and I am left trapped. I look at the world's view of certain things and behaviors and I get into thinking about those more than what truly matters, and that really damages my blossoming faith. I care more about that others think or how the world views me, I let my faith come second because I was too caught up in the world. I shy away when people ask about my religion. Even though I enjoy learning about the Gospel I would hide that because it came less meaningful once I stepped out into the world. This all changed when I came across a quote that changed my prospective. 

"My relationship with God is more valuable than any of the temporary pleasures that this world has to offer." - Nathan Punzalan

This quote has stuck with me ever since I read it, because I am putting worldly pleasures before my relationship with my Heavenly Father and that's just senseless of me. Something that will fade I was putting before someone who loves me dearly, cares for me like no one else, and who died for me... how worldly of me? 

It's actually been a big faith builder for me realizing this (about time too), and I will always keep these words in my mind so I am reminded what truly matters to me. I want people to look at me and see that I value my beliefs and hold them dear not be ashamed to state what I value. So I have decided to make it known that I value my relationship with my Father in Heaven more than any thing this world can offer. I will no more long for my old life style because that life brought me nothing but temporary happiness and my relationship with my Heavenly Father will only bring me everlasting eternal happiness, which is far greater than anything this world can bring me. I have something very promising right in front of me and I will not let it slip through my finger tips because of temporary things, I will no longer linger on thoughts or the judgement of the world because that does not matter, I will step forward with a new look at life because I now openly value my relationship with Him. 

I will continue to strengthen my faith and make it known that I am proud of my relationship with my Heavenly Father.